Call at 2AM "Did you loan your car to anyone?" Nope. "Can you come pick it up in 30 minutes?" Yep. I'm starting to think my chariot doesn't want me for a master-- 3rd time it's wandered off in the last year.
Okay, make it game related. Give me a curse for the next guy to take my chariot. I'll start:
1) Any gold you touch will turn to silver.
2) Dogs will bark constantly in your presence.
Dude, seriously, what the hell is up with your car? Where do you live, next to a Bangkok chopshop?ReplyDelete
Wasn't there something by the "Freakonomics" guys that said a car stolen once is more likely to be stolen again then an unstolen car? The car doesn't hate you; It's just the maths.ReplyDelete
Curse, as requested:
3) May your enemies grind you underfoot, ravage your home and enslave your kin. May all you love die slowly and all that you hold precious be reduced to dust and ashes. May your eyes rot in their sockets, your belly be infested with worms, and may your codlings be fodder for spidergoats. May you die in agony and lie unburied and unmourned, your damned soul wandering this world in misery.
They used to hang horse thieves, didn't they?
3) Every time you steal, one of your fingers fall offReplyDelete
4) From now on the only thing that comes out of your mouth are lies. You are not aware of the discrepancy between what you wanted to say, and what you actually say.
5) You are drawn to sewers, graveyards, swamps and cesspits.
6) You begin to find tainted food and drink delicious.
7) You grow pointed teeth, and are repelled by crosses and sunlight. You are not a vampire.
8) You can only subsist on insects and bugs. Anything else makes you violently ill.
9) You become cold-blooded. You become lethargic when it is cold, and can only muster energy in warm settings.
10) You are surrounded by a wild magic zone. You seem to attract harmful magics, and repel beneficial ones.
11)You are at the center of a low tech zone specific to vehicles. Any vehicle more complex than a carriage will refuse to start if you are withing 10' of it.ReplyDelete
12)You gums will become infested with worms, you tongue shall shrivel, and your body age before its time. You will live out the full length of time you would otherwise.
People love your ride, man. I am sorry to hear about yet another theft, but wow, what a story!ReplyDelete
It's like that B52's song, "The Devil's In My Car."
Now I regret taking that "Days since Telecanter's car was last stolen" widget off my blog. Glad to hear it was back before you knew it!ReplyDelete
Hey, thanks for the comments. I saw the key they used to start the car. Apparently you just grind a key down to a spike and it will start these Hondas.ReplyDelete
I try parking on a busy street, but if I run an errand and lose my spot I have to park in a parking lot behind apartments. It didn't last a day back there. I'll see about getting an alarm this week.
Man, if I were you I'd spring for an alarm, 3 clubs, and one of those jobbies at the beginning of Robocop 2ReplyDelete
Maybe a Mechanical Hound, too.ReplyDelete
Capcha: Comener. Yep, JOESKY has a new job.